Brothers (and sisters) in truth!
Strapped for cash in the wake of Russia's bombardment of
their Turko-Israeli oil business, the menacing masked marauders of ISIS have stooped to a new low to raise money for their
mayhem. Sugar the Angry Cat of TomatoBubble.com has been kidnapped and is being held for ransom. We have
no choice but to meet their demands.
John himself - as partially confirmed by an anonymous tweet, posted by a suspected jihadist, who was using an encrypted
I-phone while no else was looking, and who is said to be linked to a spin-off group of another spin-off
group believed by some experts to be an affiliate of ISIS, - will personally behead our fearless feline friend
if ransom demands are not met. We are counting on YOU, our loyal readers, to help us secure the return of Sugar.
Whether you already have full access to TomatoBubble.com
or not; please donate whatever you can to the
fundraiser, er, I mean Sugar's ransom fund. For those of you who have not yet bought access to all of the pay-to-view
pdf's and the Anti-New York Times, this would be a great opportunity to save an innocent animal and
receive full access to TomatoBubble. (See rewards schedule below)
-- and don't forget to share this page far and wide on social media.
As for you paranoid "conspiracy theorists" and wise-guys who will no
doubt ignorantly dismiss this as staged photo and a fundraising ploy; I would remind you of the blizzard which just blanketed
the New York area. Do you see any white stuff in that photo? Hmmmmm? As if there were any deserts in New Jersey, anyway. Now
put away your tin foil hats and consider your theory debunked!
As the photo clearly proves, this is 100% real. People! Jihadi John, as you all know, is no joke. The danger
to Sugar is imminent. Help us to secure her safe return so that our mission of truth can continue.
Thank You--- and may God Bless the United States of America.